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Morning has broken, like the first morning;

I turn to writing here whenever I'm bored or I feel like I want to vent frustrations and emotions in a non-destructive manner. Which seems to have changed from the last time I wondered why I do this whole LiveJournal thing after what's probably more than 5 years. It's stress relief and probably works, though there are times when I go back to the archives and I end up changing the visibility settings of lots of entries because they're so embarrassing.

Oh well.

I originally wanted to scribble something about mornings. You don't really appreciate the mornings that you get mostly because they're so mundane.

I like the emptiness of the roads really early in the morning, when you just drive along behind the wheel on a really empty stretch, with only a couple of other cars around. The wind rushes through the open window and it just runs through you, chilly but a little invigorating. And then when you finally catch the sunrise, you see this beautifully red disk just above the horizon and it makes you wish you could continue staring in wonder.

Life seems to be like that. You spend your time doing course corrections, but that's probably a minority. Settle into a routine and then you're just cruising easily, enjoying the view until something happens.

I wrote on my status update a few days ago that I didn't want life to become an ouroboros. It intrigued me how pretty often we're probably just stuck in a cycle that eats itself, like Kekule's benzene ring. It's cyclic but above all, meaningless.

You can't break new ground and convince yourself that life has some meaning really, until you see it along the lines of a long road with something at the end. But while you will worry about the end, it's not the point. The point is to enjoy thr view whenever and wherever you can, because it's just speeding by.

It's been a shockingly fast year, despite what I thought about these two years probably being the longest two years of my life. Suddenly my juniors are all mugging and worrying about A levels, when I still remember the feel of going back to school on Saturdays to study till night. Suddenly I'm about to hit the end of my first year in service. Yet the memories in between seem so far away, like BMT and everything else.

From the euphoric release from the drudgery to the dreaded last few days before you surrendered the IC and shaved, it seems so long ago. But it's only when you look out and enjoy what's passing when you really get to make full use of it.

That's the crux, isn't it?

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
oliviachee
Oct. 29th, 2009 01:30 am (UTC)
I agree with the first part of your post. I often find that I start editing the privacy settings of my posts so that only I can see them, just simply because I don't want anyone else to see them.

Mornings have always been the nicest part of the day, especially the times from about 6.45 to 7am when the sun is rising but the morning is still cool. It's at the moment where the world is bathed in an orangy yellowy glow, and everything just seems so pretty and happy!
lanyingjie
Oct. 31st, 2009 12:12 am (UTC)
:).

I like the calmness and the sense of a new day. Provided that day is free for me, that is. I hate it once the sun's completely out and it starts to get warm :(. I sweat incredibly easily and then it's horrid thereafter.
benjamin_choi
Oct. 29th, 2009 01:41 am (UTC)
I am enjoying myself even though I'm confined this weekend. Commissioning is so near but yet I don't really want it to pass; once it's over it will be settling back into the drudgery of unit life.
benjamin_choi
Oct. 29th, 2009 01:42 am (UTC)
By which I don't mean that cadet life rocks, but that it's quite fun to have the end of it so near. Once it's over there's nothing left to count down to except ORD :P
lanyingjie
Oct. 31st, 2009 12:14 am (UTC)
Which isn't that long to count towards, mind you. You'll be busy settling into your unit probably till late January, then things will only get boring around March. But by then, you'll just go into a typical drudgery thing until about September when the euphoria starts to set in.
benjamin_choi
Oct. 31st, 2009 04:50 am (UTC)
Unless I get to go to the Gulf of Aden! That will spice things up a bit
denchen
Oct. 29th, 2009 01:28 pm (UTC)
i like this post.

whenever we look back into the past then do we realise how fast time flies.. no matter what yr doing, actually :/ so yeah. 1+ more yrs n yr free! :D enjoy while it lasts haha
lanyingjie
Oct. 31st, 2009 12:14 am (UTC)
Actually, ONE YEAR REMAINS. And a few days, but who's counting? :P

I wrote this post while stuck on the flight deck of the RSS Persistence, was quite an experience haha.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )