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I now Write Things at.... http://writethings.uncubed.org/. Don't say you weren't surprised :P.

I'm on tenure track, wheeeeee!

Introducing Professor Lan Yingjie of the University of Maryland.Collapse )

So, all you business undergrads struggling out there, you can drop me a call. I'll try channel some of the Maryland guy's brains over the Pacific :P.

Edit: dnwq insists my Google-fu is not strong. He has unearthed the email address and the resume of the REAL guy. The only thing I admit to writing though (yes, thank you, oliviachee), is this.

All of these though, are better than the other Yingjie Lan, abusive Public Security Bureau Associate Chief.

Summed up nicely, "so you're either an abusive public officer or a nerdy grad student". Darn.

So hold on, before it's too late;

So I have a long weekend lined up ahead of me...in camp, which is very sad. At the very least I suppose it'll be filled with books and magazines, so I can churn through my reading stack.

I finished Jostein Gardner's The Christmas Mystery a couple of days ago; it started up with a very similar style to Sophie's World and nearby bored me off. I didn't really appreciate it much until the middle, when I started to read a bit more about Christmas in itself before I enjoyed it. Though I'm still waiting for the Christmas mood to set in, I suppose not being out on the streets watching decorations get put up and all the Christmas sales makes it a little harder to infiltrate.

I'm sort of looking forward to when the A levels end too, because then all the juniors will be free (and coincidentally all the uni folks too!), so there'll be lots of happy events and reunions. I miss everyone still, it feels a bit odd when everyone's on their separate paths now and a little disconnected.

...

I wish I could go stuff myself right now (because I've been starving myself of all the guilty pleasures), but I need to carry on with this regime x.x. I'm supposed to be at my fittest now (hah, so much for a yearly fitness plan), but I'm actually still lousier than before I went to driving.

SCSM will be a long trek probably, more than a run. I'd be lucky to go below 2:30, I just want to hit 2:45 and be happy with that. And then hobble my way to the ticketing dinner that night :)

Back to the reading, then.

On the cusp of yet another year of life;

The clock is ticking down to midnight and I lie here in a bunk in the standby room. I'm garbed in the black operations polo tee and the regulation khaki cargo pants; my boots and socks lie at the bottom of the ladder. I'm sort of counting down, and I'm sort of anticipating.

But my thoughts are with the past, not the future. I'm 19 now, a year older. It's been a full year since I woke up to spend my morning sitting at the McDonald's at KAP studying biology and laughing with Nat over her applications to US unis and re-completing her messy script.

I'm a year older, but it raises questions of difference, of growth. Life seems to follow a cyclic pattern, you circle a concept like a bird, occasionally drifting and occasionally drifting out. When you drift out, you think you're headed somewhere new but you eventually return to it. Maybe one day you'll break out of and go off, but you'll never really know.

The last few seconds tick by. And I'm there, 19.

...

I grabbed these two lines off a poem I found online a couple of weeks ago, at the ending couplet. Rereading them once more, they strike a chord with the elegance of the verse.

the heart has its reasons, whereof reason knows nothing
but love can hope where reason would despair.

Let's make it work tonight;

There's got to be something special about sitting at a McDonald's on a nice balmy morning with a book in hand and the remains of a hotcakes breakfast nicely digesting in your stomach. The traffic rolls on and you return to your book comfortable in the knowledge that you're a free man today and there isn't much to bother you anyway.

I haven't done this in a while and I sure do miss this feeling.
Today was Alpha Company's ORD parade and our hand over parade to transfer two platoons to Alpha. So I woke up as Bravo Company, and part of the junior company. I go to sleep tonight as Alpha Company, and part of the batch of seniors in the unit.

It's alarming how fast the cycle goes, and I know it's going to be very soon before it's our turn to do our ORD route march and throw our caps in the air. There's a certain comfort and discomfort all at once as we make this transition.

That said, I'm glad to head to Alpha. The leadership and command structure seems immediately better. I mean, the first order we received was from our OC, that no one was supposed to be in camp by 6pm tomorrow and we were all supposed to go off for nights out. Awesome stuff.

...

I'm very underprepared for Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon at the end of the year. I'm supposed to be clocking 16km distances but I felt rather wasted during yesterday's 2km run already. 9:19 is horrifying, it just screams that I've wasted my registration fee x.x.

Morning has broken, like the first morning;

I turn to writing here whenever I'm bored or I feel like I want to vent frustrations and emotions in a non-destructive manner. Which seems to have changed from the last time I wondered why I do this whole LiveJournal thing after what's probably more than 5 years. It's stress relief and probably works, though there are times when I go back to the archives and I end up changing the visibility settings of lots of entries because they're so embarrassing.

Oh well.

I originally wanted to scribble something about mornings. You don't really appreciate the mornings that you get mostly because they're so mundane.

I like the emptiness of the roads really early in the morning, when you just drive along behind the wheel on a really empty stretch, with only a couple of other cars around. The wind rushes through the open window and it just runs through you, chilly but a little invigorating. And then when you finally catch the sunrise, you see this beautifully red disk just above the horizon and it makes you wish you could continue staring in wonder.

Life seems to be like that. You spend your time doing course corrections, but that's probably a minority. Settle into a routine and then you're just cruising easily, enjoying the view until something happens.

I wrote on my status update a few days ago that I didn't want life to become an ouroboros. It intrigued me how pretty often we're probably just stuck in a cycle that eats itself, like Kekule's benzene ring. It's cyclic but above all, meaningless.

You can't break new ground and convince yourself that life has some meaning really, until you see it along the lines of a long road with something at the end. But while you will worry about the end, it's not the point. The point is to enjoy thr view whenever and wherever you can, because it's just speeding by.

It's been a shockingly fast year, despite what I thought about these two years probably being the longest two years of my life. Suddenly my juniors are all mugging and worrying about A levels, when I still remember the feel of going back to school on Saturdays to study till night. Suddenly I'm about to hit the end of my first year in service. Yet the memories in between seem so far away, like BMT and everything else.

From the euphoric release from the drudgery to the dreaded last few days before you surrendered the IC and shaved, it seems so long ago. But it's only when you look out and enjoy what's passing when you really get to make full use of it.

That's the crux, isn't it?

Slipping inside the eye of of your mind;

Today ends the entire week of recovery, I'm glad for it to a certain degree. Beyond all the pain and inconvenience, it gave me a chance to figure myself out and make me spend time with myself. That's something I haven't really had a chance to do, actually. I needed the time out to be by myself and just feel whatever emotions that I couldn't find the time to feel because of the way I run around.

I like Smash Mouth's All Star, as I told Kylie the other day. I've tried to follow it as a pattern and theme of sorts for myself, to hit the ground running and live every day of your life. But sometimes you just can't keep doing that, exhaustion sets in and you eventually slow down, and then slowly come to a stop.

But remember, only shooting stars break the mold. May you live every day of your life.

...

I discovered something new and something old about it all this week. So I'm going back with insights and something more to think about whenever I think about you. And while it happens often, it's something that will cling on to me for quite a while longer, anyway.

I'm falling apart, I'm still breathing;
with a broken heart, that's still beating
I spent the whole of yesterday drifting in and out of sleep, mostly because I didn't really have anything much to do in between force-feeding myself porridge and more porridge. Which was a bit of a horror to eat really, I've had way too much of it for the past 2 days. The craving for real solid food and real tastes and textures are driving me up the wall.

So today I got hold of some oat milk and downed 500ml for breakfast. While not exactly what I was hankering after, it was a welcome change! I'm glad I decided to get all 4 out at one go really, I can't imagine repeating this if I only got 2 teeth out, 7 day MCs be damned.

The temperature's hovering around a fever for me and that kinda got annoying when I woke up to find my body coated with sweat. I had the distinct impression that post-operative infections were quite rare for surgeries of this type, but it seems I was rather wrong, so a quick call to NDC put me on paracetamol and here I am typing.

It's rather odd though, I figured ages ago that I would probably spend the entire week reading all those books that I've yet to read since I bought them. But somehow when I sit down here and think about it, I just feel like lazing around and doing nothing whatsoever.

...

Orionids this weekend! Though I have a strong suspicion that I won't be able to make it >.<.