Not.

Okay it wasn't all that bad, but restarting trail running for the first time in the year is a very painful thing to do when you immediately kickstart it with 10km of trail. My ankles feel terribly taxed now and I'm pretty much tired.

As per normal though, it was a crazy run with Ben and the old rule that something weird will act up whenever I run with Ben decided to appear. This time however, it was Ben the Devious Slavedriver.

After about 4km of trail (and really tiring painful bits), up and down and up and down really steep slopes with a lot of blasted rocks and potholes you have to play Jumper around, Ben turns to me and grins. He politely informs me that now, we have two options (I originally requested to do 8km). Either we run back 4km the way we came (bad bad idea with crazy trail), or we go ahead and forge 10km, which was what he wanted me to do anyway. And then he casually added that he thought that the 6km extra would probably be easier.

...

Driving's pretty interesting to be honest, I'm learning stuff that's useful at least. Though I must admit that I really hate the clutch and biting point stuff, because I'm not great shakes at it (though I'm improving yes) and I can park properly now! Though after driving I can be like omgomgomg my left leg is tired from holding the darned clutch.

Courtesy of really intense lessons, where in one week we cover about 500 minutes of pure circuit driving, 6 hours of parking lessons and practice, then a mindboggling 25 hours of pure theory. Oh well, I'll be out on the roads on Monday anyway, with my Provisional Driving License and passing my Circuit Assessment with 6 demerit points! The main attraction that the instructors pitch to us though, for passing and going to the roads is so that "we can all drive pass Temasek Polytechnic or Tampines JC and look at pretty girls. Circuit only got one fat auntie, then you drive all day around and see her super jia lat!".

Right, off to the roads then!

Today, I was dancing up and down when I checked my email. I booked out at about noon, then spent half an hour trekking around Kaki Bukit in the rain because the bus stop is so horribly far from the driving centre and it was raining!

So when I checked the mail, I got my ( happy news ).

I was jumping up and down because I finally got it! Plus quite a few other people I know are are heading there (provided they still go NUS after all, like Wee Lic). So yes, while a lot of people are flying overseas, uni won't be so lonely after all! :D

...

In other news, driving is turning out to be a bitch in terms of the environment. And my aptitude for driving is...questionable. I'm finding it a bit of an information overload.

Date:	2009-06-06 10:16
Subject:	Untitled Titled Post
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused
Music:	So Far Away by Dire Straits

I wasn't really able to fully maximise my block leave as much as I hoped I would, because I spent quite a few hours just slacking and relaxing at home. When there's so much to do, I shouldn't, really :(.

My phone and SIM card have happily decided to commit suicide anyway, just at this critical juncture before I embark on the weekend, which does leave me highly irritated and annoyed. It's odd though, how National Service seems to be both something which I serve proudly, yet can't wait to get out of.

It was this feeling of relief on Tuesday really, to pass out from the CBRD Pioneers Course and get the blasted confidence badge, plus all the other things that you get after vocational training. But the activation on Monday night just served as a reminder that yes, whatever it is, there's a chance I'll be called to duty even if Singapore never fights a war. Perhaps it was rather timely, the night before we graduate.

USP interview's in an hour and I'm actually a little nervous, since it's been something I've quite wanted ever since I heard about it at the end of C1 doing SRP in NUS. Eugene (a Masters student in the Computation Chemistry Lab) was an alumnus and he brought me down to their club room to take a look. The moment I stepped in, I could just feel the exact same buzz that was so "GEP". The whole feel of learning and asking questions just for the sake of curiosity; the freedom and intellectual curiosity; I could just feel it around. God knows how much I've missed that feel.

I could do with it again, yes.

Date:	2009-05-31 18:58
Subject:	I don't care if Monday's blue;
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah
Music:	What Snowman Learned About Love by Stars

Friday was pretty good for me, I completed my 10km run (in ^#$^#$^ 34 degrees heat) under an hour for the first time ever. While Ben may tell me it's terribly slow, I'm okay with it because it's an improvement of 17 minutes from my previous serious attempt. Which uh, was somewhere after prelims last year I think.

And I should aim to cut it down, but I'll work on trying to NOT walk and run the last 2.5km of the blasted route. I need to get good socks and better running shoes though, the army ones are drenching my feet at the end of long runs.

...

I'm pretty much looking forward to Tuesday and POP. It's a pretty seminal event that has been dominating my mind for the past 3 months really, so I'm glad to be done with it, especially after summary exercise last week. Passing out of the CBRD Pioneers Course is significant in that it marks the start of privileges that I took for granted in BMT, like the right to bring in devices and all.

I want my nights out and all the little things that make army life easier to get by. That might make these two years pass just a wee bit faster.

Date:	2009-05-23 08:04
Subject:	A sympathy, where have you gone?
Security:	Public
Mood:	awake

Hello LiveJournal, you old dame. Happy 10th birthday, of which I've been around for 5 of them. I still am very content here five years on, so I'll be around for a while more yes.

...

I was pretty excited last Sunday to figure out where I'd heard The Cure's Friday I'm In Love from finally. I used to think I heard it in Nick and Norah's Infinite Soundtrack but it suddenly struck me that it was from the movie He's Just Not That Into You, so I happily went to grab the OST. There's a certain odd excitement when everything clicks into place.

NUS Science Open House today, I'm probably heading down to take a gander at things. The weekends stretches ahead but I'd better enjoy it, what with summary exercise starting Monday. It's going to be a happy blitz that will be helluva tiring. I just hope I'll last through it fine and then POP happily on 2nd June.

I've got a few thoughts but I want to let them percolate and float around for a while.

Date:	2009-05-16 07:39
Subject:	I started a joke, and got the whole world laughing;
Security:	Public
Mood:	blank

I was going to pound the pavements today but waking up at 6am with a aching left arm pretty much discouraged whatever thoughts I had on the matter. It's a little tiring but I start enjoying myself a lot more these days, the entire sense of accomplishment once I'm done is immense.

The week in camp has been exhausting to say the least, response training really does soak up all your energy running up and down and trying to keep your head while in the Suit Of Stupidity, which gives you +50 to protection but -120 to IQ. And there's -gasp- three more weeks of it before I get to pass out! (Though I might just pass out one day in the heat-trapping suits :P)

I'll just take it a week at a time lah, slowly and easily. At least I have the driving course (+1 month of stayout during it!) to look forward to.

...

I've been reading Natsuo Kirino's Grotesque in camp. I wanted to get Out but I couldn't find it at the library and I couldn't bear to part with $25 at Kino (since I'm running on low this month). Somehow it strikes me that Japanese literature tends to put a greater emphasis on characterisation and studies. It's not so much the plot that really matters as it is the way they dissect their characters and make them so different. You'll never get a run of the mill boring character probably, it's just layered so beautifully.

I should get more of those books.

Today's attempted 11km run stopped short at 9km, simply because I figured that the first solo running bit would be supplemented with another 1-2km when I met up with Natalie, but it kinda tanked when she got tired after 600m x.x. Still, 9km in a day's not bad, especially when I consider that I took about 1 hour exactly.

It's definitely better than my previous attempted timings, but there's room for improvement still. And running up Bukit Timah Road's definitely going to be something fresh, I'm getting a little tired of my regular route up to KAP, which caps out at just 8km. The extra 1km that I covered was new territory and I wonder what it'd be like to run past Hume Avenue and all, so I'm going to try it soon!

Running alone gives me a certain amount of time by myself when I just let myself drift into thoughts about what I really need to do. I used to dislike time by myself since I tended to feel lonely, but somehow after I hit 17 I started enjoying little moments by myself from time to time. My legs do feel comfortably sore now and it's somewhat a very content kind of feeling to just lounge around waiting for the time to go out for lunch.

I do love long weekends so!

...

For those who are done with their jobs for various reasons, like H1N1 retrenchment and all, there's two things I'm going to recommend doing!

1. Sneeze!: This game's epic. Sneeze is a game I discovered from someone's post on the LJ biology community and it's pretty fun trying to infect everyone on the map with a single sneeze. It's quite pretty watching people randomly walk around though and then sneeze after they've become vectors.

2. Listen to Jon Schmidt's music. I stumbled upon this and it's pretty good! I'm personally a fan of Coldplay's Viva La Vida album and this song especially, so hearing it mixed with Taylor Swift's Love Story's rather interesting. And of course, it doesn't detract from the fact that Coldplay's piano bits are just wonderful by themselves!

Booking in tonight, but at least it was a pleasant weekend I've enjoyed outside without crazy amounts of running around as it is, and more of real running. 14km mileage for the win!

So this weekend was a long weekend, in a sense a truly long weekend because I got to book out early for Medical Appointment! Which was really good, since I got my clean bill of (dermatological) health and our dear Singapore Gahmen picked up the tab completely. I decided to go for a run after that, which proved rather dumb because the traffic along the roads was choking me with exhaust but when I hit Hwa Chong in 25 minutes (which is rather fast, given that there were 3-4 minutes of waiting for traffic lights), I got to meet Zoe and Jaya and catch up. One of the smaller pleasures of life is really just talking and catching up with friends.

...

I got accepted by NUS Science, which is a relief since I got a bit worried after not hearing from them at all. That's exactly what you get for not submitting except at the very last minute I guess. In a way, I'm glad to be given the chance to study what I really love; it's something that I have been passionate about for years.

While it's not quite the be-all-end-all thing I hoped, at least it's something I can be thankful for and look forward to. Life Sciences it is then!

I was going to write an entry about Huang Cheng, the wonderful thing that has brought me so many wonderful and sweet memories, but really, what can I write?

We went back as a senior batch last night to watch, and I went back with the ticketing people to drop by and help out a bit. It's such a different thing to watch it as audience, really. To know that your time has passed and you're no longer the ones involved, but the ones supporting. It was all the more special, that this will be the last time it's at Victoria Theatre for quite a while.

I strolled around the place, and revisited each and every spot that held meaning to me. I walked by the old Admin Team room, which I worked from in J1. Then Ticketing got its own room in J2, we moved up to the 3rd floor. I poked my way into the rooms where we worked last year, the memories of what we did there, layouts and all still so freshly imprinted in my mind.

The many times we walked up the yellow stairs, slacked around in the basement and tiptoed past the sides of the stage, they're still here, beautiful. They might or might not be around, I can't figure. And chances are, we'd be too old by then to go backstage. We wouldn't know our juniors that well, it'd be odd.

I wanted to compose this entry in VT, I wrote it here. It's different somehow, bidding it goodbye quietly. I'm so glad for this chapter of my life, it was unexpected, but it taught me so much and changed the way I saw things.

As the jacket writes, 黄城一辈子！

Date:	2009-04-26 11:10
Subject:	Somewhere, Anybody, Anyhow
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah

It's been such a long hiatus since I last wrote. Perhaps a break of sorts, or even a long time for me to think. The weeks have been whirlwind, rushing around on weekends trying to settle this and that, such that you rarely get time off to actually rest.

I decided to skip church today, cell and Sec 1s, since I wasn't feeling well and I didn't recall myself having anything particularly important. There's a long day ahead even if I skip church, but I figure I'm getting back into the swing.

I've been feeling rather spiritually dry recently, and it's not just a matter of what I want, but what I feel. There's confusion, annoyance and a whole potpourri of funny emotions that stir around. It feels a bit like depression, the same way I sank into a bit of a downward spiral after the end of the relationship years ago, except I can't figure out why this time.

There's a certain...exhaustion that's hitting me. It's probably the whole NS thing, where your weekends are so bloody precious, but instead of resting I end up running all around doing chores and all. I want go to my favourite places and enjoy a day off.

I want to sleep on Changi Beach, and look at the stars, just as I did during the meteor watches back in High School and College. I want to go and browse at Books Kinokuniya at Ngee Ann City, reading whatever I like, and maybe even buying a few now that I actually have the financial means. I want to bring notes, books and a laptop to Esplanade and sit in the library. I want to stare out at the bay and smile, to explore and wander around, lost but not quite lost.

I want to blend into the background and see the world, I don't want the attention on me anymore. I just want to wander, for this stage in my life.

anyone lived in a pretty how town

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn’t he danced his did.

Women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn’t they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed(but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone’s any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hoe and then)they
said their nevers and they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt for forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.

Women and men(both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

Date:	2009-03-23 06:51
Subject:	And now, the end is near...
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm

So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there;

Block leave has come to an end and with that, the postings that we're all assigned to now take effect. In about an hour's time, I'll be reporting to the 39th Singapore Combat Engineers as a Chemical, Biological, Radiological (CBR) and Explosives Pioneer specialising in CBR disposal.

I've moaned about this posting, I've groaned about it over the past few days, but ultimately I want to go in with a positive mindset. I trust in God that He's putting me there for a reason, just as He has done everything so far. I may not know why, I may not know how, but I will hold on to the faith and trust in Him.

To all my friends who are going to OCS/SISPEC/unit, I hope you enjoy yourself and make the best out of it! I've learnt rather recently that life isn't what you get, but what you make out of it. I intend to make the best out of mine.

...

NUS applications are done, but the documents have yet to be sent in. SMU has been left in a state of incompletion that worries me, should I be confined this weekend. I'm probably not going to, but all the same, I predict a hell lot of work coming up this weekend when I book out.

And I never knew PSC was so much work too! Plus mugging for SAT and all, I really hope CBRE doesn't murder me mentally.

Date:	2009-03-16 23:15
Subject:	Threadless Spree...again?
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm

Okay this isn't great, to make the first post after so long a spree post but I'll leave the musings that have been fermenting till later.

Threadless, is having a nice sale now. Spree anyone? It's going to be smaller scale, so better tell me fast! I'm not going to spend my block leave organising a monster of a sale!

Edit: Okay unless you've spoken to me already about it, I'm temporarily closing the sale. Much as I'd like to expand this, I have very very limited time (and argh uni apps!). You can still ask me and I'll consider case-by-case though!

So I'm back (actually, almost about to head off back to the army now). The past two weeks have been rough and tiring, but I made it out. Army's a whole new ball game that I've never tried, it's entirely different.

The hardest part of it though, is for me to find a purpose in what I do. I can find it whenever I'm doing something meaningful, like training or something. But the difficulty really lies in trying to find that purpose and have it convince you while you're on your hands in push up position, or some other stupid punishment.

I'm serving my national service because I want to defend my country. I want to protect my family and friends, to protect my loved ones. My Company Sergeant Major asked us about the Jehovah's Witnesses, he wants to ask them if they'd stand by and watch if their loved ones were killed, violated or attacked. I won't.

I just hope that as I continue with the rest of my service, I can continue to cling on to this sense of purpose.

have you ever wondered,
why must we serve?

because we love our land,
and we want it to be free, to be free.

Also, friends-locking from today onwards. It's time to hide online.

Date:	2009-01-07 17:14
Subject:	The last moments before it goes.
Security:	Public
Mood:	awake
Music:	One More Night by Stars

So today was Stars. Or should I say, yesterday, because it's 8th January already. It's a bit of anticipation and nerves, but we're here. But first, Stars.

I loved it! The concert was just one big set playing all those I love. I got my wish when Amy started singing the opening vocals for My Favourite Book. Other than the big hits, it's one of my personal favourites because I love the lyrics within and the easy listening that glides with it. I found it hard to identify songs with titles though, had to ask Jez (jez_hex) for one or two. I think it's mainly because I just play them on the iPod and rarely look at the title. So I can be like singing the song and still wondering what the title is. Not good :(.

I spent the afternoon on a bookshop trawl with Grace (no_cleopatra) and Li Hsia (everithe). Kino still never fazes to surprise me with the lovely gems I discover there, except my buying power is limited x.x. I enjoyed the whole coffee and cake after that, though I suspect it's the High Voltage coffee I took that's keeping me that awake even now. I should sleep soon though.

I want to find my purpose when I go in tomorrow. To know that I'm serving my country and that I'm honouring God with what I do. And hopefully, when I come out in two weeks, I won't be all negative and cynical. I want to run the good race, to fight the good fight and to keep the faith.

Till then!

P.S. I suspect I'll be very bored in camp at night. So yes, if you're bored too, text me. Though my phone does have some issues with text messages, I'll probably reply, so if we're in the middle of a conversation and I don't carry on, please resend or poke me!

Date:	2009-01-05 13:51
Subject:	The last bit of it all;
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm

So the time has come to now and it's two days away from enlistment. I spent the past few days at Huang Cheng chalet, having dinner with my extended family and aunts and all, running around on little things here and there.

I feel like I've maximized my time. Other than the 20 hours hibernation cycle I went into after I hiked around the island on the 15km urban trip. We went down to Tanglin and Holland from Commonwealth and went through Orchard to Esplanade, before finishing through Shenton Way and HarbourFront.

Watching the first sunrise of the new year from the deck of Vivo City was quite surreal, mostly because I was microsleeping half the time. I enjoyed the hike with Ben and Shuyuan anyway, right after Watch Night service.

...

I want to find a sense of purpose when I walk into BMTC. I was thinking about things and I just realized that I'm starting to find it slowly. I'm doing it for my 二舅, I'm doing it for God, I'm doing it for myself.

To fight the good fight, to run the race and to keep the faith. I want to say that.

Dear LJ,

Since it's now the start of the New Year, Yingjie, Bench (benjamin_choi) and Shuyuan have decided to start an Epic Hike. We will be traversing Singapore by night, starting from Commonwealth MRT to an unknown ending.

Happy New Year!

So finally, Yingjie moves to a computer and starts writing. Despite the unique environment of being in a cybercafe with Bench (benjamin_choi) on his right trying to play CS and epic failing to PRC pro gamers, he strives to give the world an update to his life. With a 4-14 kill-death ratio, of which Ip Lan (the modified version of Ip Man, using my surname) controlled by me accomplished 2, in the first game I took over from.

GOGOGO BEN.

Now, on a more incidental note, the week has been very interesting. I've managed to go watch Very Nationalistic Kickass Film(s) like Ip Man, which features to great detail the wonderful Japanese soldiers who all graduated with distinction from the Imperial Stormtrooper School of Marksmanship and there was gratuitous verification of the Stormtrooper Effect. Awesome nonethless.

It subsequently led on to a buffet sushi tea with Kylie and then the highlight of the night, coffee with Jia Fang. Now, it was at this little coffee meeting where I Ingested A Bug. After a lot of insults, Jia Fang proffered her birthday present (highly overdue, yes), which was a nice tequila flavoured lollipop. It would have been sweet, if not for the little worm larvae inside. And I had to finish it in Starbucks, after downing coffee and birthday cheesecake.

Crunchy.

...

The night before, it was the astro camp/sleepover at East Coast with Yam, Philip and Mingwei. I haven't seen all of us together for a while, but it was really nice to sit back and talk, about the things we share and just banter lightly. I've a feeling what I'll really miss during NS is the friends I've made all through High School and College, I really want to hold on to them.

...

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist is good. It's a film that somehow would be very rushed on the script but the pacing's wonderfully relaxed and appropriate. I caught it rather last minute with Ben and Nat on Christmas Eve, but it was worth the extra cost of the weekend ticket.

With Christmas service and all, it's been a far better, happier Christmas this year than it was last. I hope they all go this way.

.:ë|ƒ:. - frankchn - [ anonymity, integrity, honesty, objectivity, impartiality ] says:
we are actually not pondering over our own life issues =p
.:ë|ƒ:. - frankchn - [ anonymity, integrity, honesty, objectivity, impartiality ] says:
we are pondering over each other's life issues =p
__yingjie :: [unCubed.org] things are going to be the way they be? says:
and in the process mhmm
__yingjie :: [unCubed.org] things are going to be the way they be? says:
WHY IS NO ONE WORRYING FOR ME!
.:ë|ƒ:. Benjamin says:
of course, we are very interested in your life issues too
.:ë|ƒ:. Benjamin says:
you can begin by telling all your juicy secrets

It was somewhat a continuation of benjamin_choi's post.

Clearly evil Bench desires information for blackmail.

...


TANGYUAN DAY. I like winter solstice, generally, for the food.

Date:	2008-12-17 15:31
Subject:	This time it's not enough;
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm

Geminids this year was a tad disappointing. First night consisted of sleeping under the stars (after I eventually decided that the clouds were a real pain and I was sleepy). The second night was a bit more of the sit under pavilion and wonder when the rain is stopping type.

Though it did stop around 3am, so we all got to go out and sit on the groundsheet we spread, then just relax there. It's really nice actually, with a bit of light booze (I mean really light, like 5%). Plus I can do it anytime I want to now, with the requisite groundsheet in my possession!

Raffles Invites is tomorrow, and I just discovered I'm fencing individual epee tomorrow. Epic win, yes? I guess I'll just try have fun and see how it goes.

so he says, "I never did love anyone else in my life"

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

- Melee in Built To Last

That bit has been a earworm for the past week, in and out of the ears driving me nuts.

So the week whizzed by in slight blur of colour. Of course, prom came and went, then it was the weekend of all sorts of stuff. I spent the morning before prom resting in bed trying to sleep off the flu I got, when I got a call from Hong Ling and then popped off to school to teach bio.

Against the better advice of others and my own common sense, I went on living a very Yingjie life in open defiance of the flu, assisted by Panadol's Flu Max. While I did manage to feel generally fine, I think I should be a little more careful in future with this pushing my body to the max around.

Prom was a blast, I still can't fathom how I managed to ignore 3 courses and hop off to take photos. Photos are all uploaded onto Facebook, of course, plus unCubed.org. The Facebook ones are a pitiful resolution, but they'll generally do. For those who prefer nice full sized ones, I'd suggest you hop over to Latarsis@unCubed.org and take a gander. Perhaps grab the photos, if you wish.

GENERAL APPEAL TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE CLASS PHOTOS OF 07S7C OR HUANG CHENG PHOTOS, UPLOAD PLEASE. Preferably somewhere there is no downscaling of size.